February 6, 2010 by freakychakra
“I never played to win, I never played for defeat
I simply played, because playing was where myself, I could meet.”
Life’s been a wonderful journey till now. The day I left school, I thought that I had left the best part of my life, a thought which in the coming years only grew stronger. A transgression from the protected, disciplined environs of the school, to the wild ways of the college was not easily negotiated by me and I ended up screwing up my only identity—My ‘envious ’academic record (or so I thought). God gave me a second chance with engineering, and I screwed up that too…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………or, maybe I didn’t !!!
Engineering has been the most interesting and definitive phase of my life. Of course it wasn’t as beautiful as school, but in the end you won’t take a beautiful bimbo girl as your wife, but a smart one. My school days weren’t bimbo to say, but one thing I didn’t learn in school was the harshness of the world outside the shell. We were inside the coconut, just knowing that the world was all white and soft, grossly misunderstanding that a darker and tougher shell lay outside. I saw this shell in Engineering.
Engineering was a phase wherein I saw my life nosedive into the darkest pits, a phase wherein I saw myself acting like a drunkard on an empty road, and despite seeing the right path chose to dive inside the nearby open sewage. Well!!! I did take a bath in the sewage , but the best part is, I managed to come out of it, clean myself and walk again-this time straight towards the destination.
What I thought to be dark dungeons, turned out to be actually light filled rooms. My moments of defeat were to turn out my biggest lessons and act as a catalyst for my success. Everyone, shuns a YD—Year Drop and in engineering many call it the darkest phase of their lives, a phase many choose to erase from their memory. But it is this phase that was the most definitive in my career. It was here that I was awakened to the truth that the school days were over, and I was no longer the king. The truth of the nature is that “A sun has to set, if it has to rise (please forget the science behind it)”. This YD taught me this fact like no other lesson. I realized that I had set long back, but was still acting as if I am on a rise. And believe me, the moment you realize that you are set and more importantly accept it, you are on your way to shine again.
What followed wasn’t possible of course without some other factors, notable among whom would me my parents, my bhaiya-bhabhi, my life partner and my mechanics teacher. It was only five times after failing in Mechanics, did I join a tuition for it, something which I didn’t do as I was more interested in pleasing my ego than the practicalities of life. And it was only then that I realized the beauty of Mechanics and hence realized that due to my submission to my ego, how many more beautiful things had been left out by me.
There were many more lessons, all of which I will share with you later, but all were important lessons. Lessons which reshaped my very foundations and outlook towards life. Lessons which taught me to be thankful to myself, which taught me that the only person who could defeat me in life was also the only person who could help me win in any situation—ME. I am not a changed man today, but I surely am a better reflection of what I have always aspired to be………………..